Who am I?

Dear Professor Brad,

Greetings. My name is Gay Bing Shuen. My Christian name is Leonard, and hence you can call me Leo. I am a student taking a degree in mechanical engineering at the Singapore Institute of Technology. I graduated from the Institute of Technology Education (ITE) with a certificate for Higher Nitec in mechatronics engineering (2014-2015), and afterward from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in automation mechatronic systems (2016-2018).

In the past, I enjoyed building models such as the "Three Kingdoms" Gundam models, and wooden animal DIY kits. I was also intrigued by how machines work mechanically, such as wind turbines, or even an analog watch. Due to my burning curiosity for how things work, I enjoy taking things apart and fixing them. With my strength in mathematics and passion for hands-on work, I decided to take up engineering as my future career.

Other than engineering related studies, I believe effective communication is a key life skill, whether it is work-related or just socializing. In the past, I have rarely heard people in the engineering field sharing with others the importance of communication. And thinking back, I have experienced countless setbacks that have led to misunderstandings or delays in tasks, which is unfavorable for completing assignments. 

In terms of my strengths and weaknesses in communication, I am confident in the projection of my voice without being monotoned during presentations. I was complimented for this when I did a sharing as an alumnus of ITE to the 1st year students on what they could expect to experience in their education. However, I am aware that I have difficulties in overcoming anxiety while doing a project presentation, avoiding awkward pauses when I am stuck in my line of thoughts, and maintaining my pace in speaking without going faster. 

Through this module, I look forward to improving in areas of my strength and weaknesses. Also, I wish to discover more about other communication skills that I may or may not have. I hope to achieve more skills that allow me to communicate with my colleagues clearly on what I wish to achieve with them from the project without being ambiguous. I would also like to be able to present effectively, ensuring that my audiences fully understand the aim of the presentation. Therefore, I look forward to giving my best participation in every lecture and task.

Yours Sincerely,
Gay Bing Shuen
Student ID: 2002625

Last updated: 11.02.21

Blogs commented on:
Jin Yao: https://jinyaomec1281.blogspot.com/2021/01/effective-communication.html
Jian Yeow: https://yeowbuyeow1281.blogspot.com/
Nasrul: https://nasrulhbs.blogspot.com/
Don Seah: https://donsjy.blogspot.com/2021/01/assignment-1-formal-letter.html
Mark Chin: https://markchin1281.blogspot.com/
Wei Jie: https://weijiemec1281.blogspot.com/2021/01/assignment-1-formal-letter-descriptive.html

Comments

  1. Don SeahJanuary 24, 2021 at 5:42 AM

    The letter is very clear on the background also complete with all the information.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brad BlackstoneJanuary 26, 2021 at 7:22 PM

    Dear Leo,

    Thank you for this well developed letter of intro. You cover the various assignment requirements and add lots of fine concrete detail. The sharing about your various interests and the perceived level of your communication skills is especially telling as these discussions allow us to see into your world and get to know something about your personality.

    I also like the detail in the section about your educational background and hobbies in particular, while you also do a good job elaborating on your module goals. You can rest assured knowing there will be more speaking/presenting opportunities as the term progresses.

    Your language fluency in this letter is quite good, but there are a few issues to take note of:

    1. The salutation seems odd, a bit like a robot:
    -- To Professor Blackstone Brad Franklin,

    2. words/phrases/collocations
    -- I was also intrigued in how machines work mechanically... > (wrong collocation)
    I was also intrigued by how machines work mechanically....
    -- fixing them back > (collocation) fixing them
    -- communications > communication
    -- ...sharing as an alumni of ITE to the 1st year students on what they can expect to experience in their education. > (wrong verb tense)
    -- look forward to improve ... > (collocation) look forward to improving
    -- other skills as well that allows > (subject-verb disagreement) ?
    -- to communicate with my colleagues clearly on what > (collocation to communicate with my colleagues clearly what

    3. sentences/structures
    -- In the past, I enjoyed building models like Gundams and animals DIY kits in the past.
    > (lack of conciseness)

    4. punctuation/capitalization
    -- -- degree in Mechanical Engineering > a degree in mechanical engineering
    -- other overuse of caps
    -- With my strength in Mathematics >
    -- However I am aware > ?
    -- Therefore I look > ?

    I look forward to seeing how you polish this letter.

    Best wishes,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leonard Gay Bing ShuenFebruary 10, 2021 at 8:47 PM

      Dear Prof Brad,

      I would like to firstly apologize for not being able to reply to your email for the past few weeks. However I am thankful to you for taking your time to read my letter of intro. I will look into your comments and suggested improvements of my letter, and revise it according to your suggestions.
      I hope to hear from you again soon about my revised intro letter, and I want to apologise again for the late reply.

      Sincerely,
      Gay Bing Shuen

      Delete
  3. Jin YaoJanuary 27, 2021 at 7:47 AM

    Dear Leonard,
    I enjoy reading your introduction letter, overall I find the letter is very well written, it tells me that you are a hand-on person and are fascinated by how things works. Every paragraphs have their own topics, and you also elaborate in depth.
    However, I found some of the minor errors,
    1. In the past, I enjoyed .... DIY kits in the past --> Repeat of in the past
    2. However I am aware --> however, I am aware
    3. Therefore I look forward --> therefore, I look forward

    Regards,
    Jin Yao

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wei JieJanuary 27, 2021 at 7:22 PM

    Dear Leonard,

    I enjoyed reading your self-introduction letter and I find it clear to read. It tells me about your burning curiosity for how things work leads to your interest in taking up engineering.

    However, I have some suggestions/errors about your letter.

    1) I think that your paragraph on your strength and weakness can be segregated into 2 paragraphs to make it more clearer and make it look more well-structured.

    2) "Therefore I look forward" I think you can put a comma in between "Therefore" and "I".

    Yours sincerely,
    Tan Wei Jie

    ReplyDelete
  5. EmO bUnNyFebruary 12, 2021 at 5:55 AM

    Dear Leonard,
    Your writing shows that you are a very vibrant guy.

    I noticed that you have a lot of ideas that you'd like to express in this letter. However, you may come across as ambiguous as you have opted for long sentence structures. I recommend you to use concise and short sentences in your writing.

    All the best for your studies!

    ReplyDelete

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